Bean Flower ^o^

memories, 1 year ago

2011-04-27T08:07:00.002+08:00

reading this abandoned space brought me back to who i was a year ago.

everything was so different. i kind of like the things they were before. i detest the person that i am becoming.

i want to keep the remaining part of the innocence to myself, i want to continue to trust ppl easily.

i think to do that, i will need to get out of here.

i wish i know taeyang personally. i think we can be good friends. haha. and he can teach me how to dance the wedding dress.

burnt

2010-11-17T23:44:00.002+08:00

by my own flaws.

i feel like screaming now.

i am not happy now. i repeat. i am extremely not happy.

i dunno what i want now. i dunno what am i good at.

i dun even know what i need to carry on.

can someone tell me what should i do now?

i am ready to rock and roll.

2010-06-13T23:57:00.002+08:00

it has been so long since i last posted something here.

haha too busy having fun and enjoying my holiday!

today is the last day of my holiday!

hopefully the working life will be manageable and i will still get to spam time with honey bear!

i hope weekends are longer though. then i can spend time with families!
=)

everyday i wake up, i just wish that i will have a place to call my own. =)

it's over!

2010-05-04T15:15:00.000+08:00

in a good way.

fail then fail lo.

heck.

but im quite sad that my hp dropped into toilet bowl.

haha!

Kissin U

2010-05-01T12:50:00.003+08:00

oh my oh my! i need to breathe! my heart cannot cope with all these peaks and troughssss~!!!

but miranda cosgrove is damn pretty! she took my breath away!

formula to happiness

2010-05-01T00:35:00.001+08:00

family + friends + bear.

=)

they can heal any wound.
=)

Heart them.

=(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

2010-04-30T11:42:00.005+08:00

my poor english level is not good enough to channel my sadness into words.

~~

it's the biggest disappointment in the past few months.

they chose another person over me just because of my nationality.

and this happened after they offered me the position.

how can u give a person so much hope, and then crash it with ur own hands.
it's cruel and it's hard to swallow.

i was starving before i checked my mails, after a long long nite of sleep, feeling happy.

but the mail just reversed everything.

i am more than sad now. it's a mixture of anger, GREAT disappointment, and more sadness.

just when i thought everything's gg to be ok, it's not.

i dunno what else can i do anymore.

~~

my poor english level is not good enough to channel my sadness into words.

so the sadness stays.

worst dream ever.

2010-04-29T12:02:00.008+08:00

i was with a guy. dunno who isit. not bear. a friend.

then there's this villain. wanted to kill me then my friend tried to protect me.

then they were fighting and the villain wanted to throw my friend downstairs.

So another guy entered the scene. a very big but kind looking guy.

three of them noe each other. and my friend started to tell the big guy dat the villain killed his gf.

so the big buy took on the villain and broke his neck. big guy held my hand for a while dunno for what but i noe my hands were covered by blood by now.

police came and we started running in 3 different directions.

i ran to a toilet and quickly washed the blood off my hand and continued running.

holding on to my iphone, i didnt noe how to contact them coz i dunno how to use it. so i went to the comp lab of the library.

someone passed me a note with an ICQ id, asking me to go online and open ICQ.

the comp lab was crowded and there's only 1 computer available.

i saw a few faces. they send signs to me that they know whats gg on and we're all in this tog and we need to help the big guy to escape.

so i sat down. the police entered the room.
my face gave me away. the police noticed that and interrogated me.

i told him that i only saw them fighting and i ran away, just to shut him up and hope that he'll leave me alone.

but he continued. i was under immense pressure and i was breaking down.

and i was trying to hide my thoughts and i succeeded somehow.

the police moved on.

Suddenly the big guy gave himself up by standing up and confess.
by now he has changed his top, and was wearing a cap.

the police man took him away.

and i woke up in sweat at 5.30am.

and i dun dare to get out of bed coz i could feel that my legs were still shaking.

and the scenes were so bloody.

so i continued sleeping. and the same dream repeated again.

dats y, after so many hours,
i still can remember it.

even after the stupid IO exams.

i cannot remember how to solve the simple models and gave up 30 points, but i can remember this dream.

and this is like the 3rd dream with iphone in it.

=((((((((( and all these iphone dreams, they're not the least bit sweet.

awwwwh man.

2 down and they brought me down too.

2010-04-29T11:57:00.002+08:00

it's ok la. i juz need to pass both.

at least they made me realized dat i dun like to study or stay in school.

im sure i will be better off when im out of this shit hole.

PMS = easily irritated by all the smallest things.

it's ok.

i'll get over them.

and i believe our future is gg to be so perfect.

I AM GG TO MISS MUM'S BDAY. AGAIN.

2010-04-28T16:13:00.003+08:00

1st paper of the last 5.

the 1st 30 minutes was freezing with the cold air blowing straight to me, my legs especially!
luckily the nice lecturer whom i skipped like 70% of her lecturer, turned off the aircon for me! =)

in less than 17 hours time, i'll have another paper. Industrial Organization.

and i have 3 papers on mon n tues.

so dat will translate to another yih weekend.

i hope that when i start working, i will not have to miss any family birthdays again. =)

in 2 weeks' time i'll be in taiwan! really cant wait for the getaway with bear n sis! it's gg to be so fun, and yes, it's gg to be funny!!
i always feel extremely happy when im with them!
hehe.

life's not about the stupid degree.

life's not about the stupid job. ok, it's job search for me.

and life's definitely not about the stupid exams.

i do not wish to be a rich cow. (bear: ppl usually say work like a dog not a cow.)
but i think cow works harder.
=P

the balloon and the needle.

2010-04-27T20:50:00.002+08:00

questions started to question me inside,

what the hell were you doing when you were in year 1.

i have no answer for that.

and, that is really sad.

especially when the repercussions are long lasting.

i cannot get the discriminating scene out of my mind.

i too want to be a needle one day.

wed wed wed!

2010-04-26T22:57:00.002+08:00

dun really have the mood to study. dunno study for what also.

all i noe is that it's all back to square one. lol.

i'll have to start all over again.
wish i like my major then i'll juz study for 1 more year.

haha.

im driving myself crazy.

2010-04-23T16:24:00.001+08:00

i cant seem to rmb what i have done this morning.

a very big sigh.

I WANT A TOOTHLESS!

2010-04-20T21:53:00.005+08:00

the 1 hour plus of How to Train Your Dragon totally made my day!
coupled with nice little almond and oatmeal cookies and yogurt drink,
i had an awesome afternoon! on the 2nd day of the study week!
love the random short movie dates!

i wanna squeeze toothless! =)))))

but then again, thru out the movie, i kept thinking that it would be perfect if i dun need to wear the stupid 3D glasses to watch the 3D movie! >O<<<<<

=) i guess i will need to change my lifestyle real soon.

A hurricane is on its way. Out to destroy and create.

im not dat sure if im ready for the change yet, but i guess i'll just have to take it as it comes.
i hope i wont be alone. =))))))

addiction

2010-04-20T21:49:00.000+08:00

i need to curb the urge to 'comment' on the online blogshopsssss!

=(((((

The Email.

2010-04-20T10:52:00.002+08:00

so irritating to not noe the results.

sigh~~

had a really eventful saturday!
morning rushed like mad for some last minute shit,
afternoon rushed to go meet hi5 for lunch,
but it was worth it! =)
it felt so good to have seen them, talked to them, laughed with them.
it just felt right.
and when i went home, mum n sisters were waiting for me at the car porch!
so nice to noe that there are people waiting for u at home =))

hope mummy's toe will be ok soon!!! woo woo woo woo woo.

and i think i spent hours talking cock with my sis abt the taiwan trip!

=) last 2 weeks of nus and im officially done with it.

but it's a really scary sight, to see that every morning at 9.50am, there are like 1 million ppl waiting outside the study room.

OH OH!!! i watched the shutter island!
erm. quite traumatizing if u watched it in the middle of the nite with lights off.
but it's just like the male version of The Uninvited or A tale of two sisters.

expected that it's all in his imaginations so towards the end it was pretty draggy.

and thanks to that i had nightmares =((((.

When can i watch How to Train Your Dragonnnnnnnnnnn...............

hehe.

2010-04-16T00:17:00.001+08:00

call me idealistic stupid ignorant and kiddy. i still like this dance! my fav scene frm hsm3.

my heart is wounded.

=)))) song for this thursday=))

2010-04-15T15:11:00.001+08:00

Movie List

2010-04-13T14:09:00.001+08:00

1) YONA YONA PENGUIN
2) HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON
3) DATE NIGHT
4) CLASH OF THE TITANS
5) THE BLIND SIDE
.
.
.
.
.
.

and so many more that i have forgotten.

"daddy, what is a cinema?"
>O<

i am amazed by this world all the time.

2010-04-13T01:52:00.004+08:00

nothing is permanent. everything's changing all the time.

i need to keep up with the changing pace!!!!!

and i need to curb myself for feeling so emotional for ALL THE changes!

as there so many more to come especially in the near future!!!!

*metal ball formation*!! nothing can affect me now!!!! WAHAHA!

good niteeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzz!

i thought it's still sunday.

2010-04-12T00:25:00.002+08:00

had a sleepy monthsary. haha i have been sleeping for most of the time.

but quite happy dat i manage to sleep the headache away! =)

study room's like market like dat. all the loud whisperings, loud exchange of words.
FEEL LIKE SCREAMING: SHUT UP!

COMMUNAL LIVING, PPL!

damn irritating.

of coz the easiest solution is to listen to music
but i have been wearing earphones for the whole day and my ears hurt.

awwwh man.

hehe. but i have a fiery ball beside me.
so we've gotta chill!

p/s. i really cant wait to watch How To Train Your Dragon!!!!!!
and have a nice meal with bear n tommy! =DDDDDD

=)

=)

2010-04-10T14:06:00.001+08:00

i hope it's not too late to initiate the corrections.

supper break

2010-04-07T00:58:00.003+08:00

last two weeks, hang in there, i said.

i noe u can do it. i said.

i'll work hard too. for u for us and our big family =). i said.
in my heart.

how come i still dun feel good abt it

2010-04-06T18:34:00.002+08:00

instead, i have a really bad feeling abt this. =(

im so proud of myself

2010-04-05T12:53:00.002+08:00

to have burnt the weekend doing nothing,

just lying on the couch with laptop and tv on.

i didnt even have the mood to binge at home haha. coz i feel fat =(
and the PMS. sucks being a gal.

and the cramps + running here n there today had nearly killed me.

and after i noe that i left the big pack of formal clothes, hand washed, ironed, folded, packed, at home. i felt even shittier.
plus the med that i was supposed to bring for bear's mum.

=(

what happened to my brain. It has been faulty for numerous occasions.
constantly give me headache. =(

now i need to trust it once more, for i have a 20% CA which i havent touched at all.

brain oh brain, i need you, pls work with me.

and yes,

I FORGOT ABT TOMMY AS WELL.

=((((((( arggghhhhhh. i wanna dig my brain out n smash it into brain paste.
not much difference to me anyway, with a brain or not.

you're my everything!

2010-04-02T21:55:00.001+08:00

=))))) song for the friday nite! =DDDDD

Tommy, we've got work to do =)

2010-04-02T15:52:00.003+08:00

Project Forget-me-not.

for the next 2 weeks, im gg to bring tommy ard the sch, and take photos!!! =))))

coz i wont want to forget this part of my life. =(

the project sounds soooo exciting! =DDDDDDDDD

so everyone! pls remind me to take photo whenever u guys see me k!!!!!! =)))))))

reminder to self

2010-04-02T11:19:00.002+08:00

No more online shopping for a while.

online window shopping will do just fine. =)

my new all time fav. awwwh man.

2010-03-31T17:36:00.003+08:00

hehe.

on a side note, i managed to stay 'cordial' (according to syl) to mr. HEHEHHEHE through out the presentation!

=D

i love watching long long mv.... and everyday, i have been praying for the same few things.

pls let them be true. =)

RELIGHT MY FIRE!

2010-03-31T12:31:00.001+08:00

151 is a washing machine. or blender. or both.

2010-03-30T17:15:00.001+08:00

from sch to macpherson, frm macpherson to sch.

in less than 3 hours, i spend abt 2 hours on 151.

im so nauseous that my world's still spinning now. =(

when you're really, really, sleepy.

2010-03-29T11:51:00.003+08:00

i just love this song! esp when u slept at ard 3.30 the day b4 and woke up at 8.30 the next morning.

although i had 5 hours of sleep, but the action dreams made me felt that i have been shooting n running for the whole night.
=(
and i cant sleep in formal attire in the study room. it's just so uncomfortable!

and i anticipate a sleepless night 2day, judging by the work that i'll have to do as my presentation slides are due 2mr and nothing is done. oh my gosh. so scary.

the wedding planner keeps me gg!

2010-03-29T00:33:00.002+08:00

had the nicest curry noodles for lunch by bear's mum!
=))))))
need to learn how to cook dat!

and i love watching man u match with bear, even if it means i'll have to stay up till 4am!

er. waited 1.5 hour for a no-show juz now. haha and i watched The Wedding Planner for the Nth time. nvr failed to make me happy!

oh oh oh! i wanna watch How To Train Your Dragon! and hopefully we'll get the Date Night tickets!

gg to have 2 interviews in the next 2 days. =)
hopefully, i really can get a job dat'll make me happy everyday~!

saw iv, out soon plssss!!!!

Penny and me =)

2010-03-27T14:55:00.007+08:00

i'll have to camp in sch for another weekend.

1 month nvr go home alr! this is so sad.

it's ok. i'll get to see the 2 cute fellas later so =DDDDDDD

as for the irritating and disappointing pr issue, i'll just have to take it in my stride.

i am sure, i can survive this!

haha i love to turn to my left, and see the muscle chipmunk popping almonds when he's studying!
=]]]]]]]]]

OH! we have 1 carton of soya bean, 1 carton of chocolate milk, almonds, raisin bread, coffee, yuanyang and dried mangoes on the table now! study food! HEHE.

the hangover procedure.

2010-03-25T20:04:00.005+08:00

i dunno why did i cry.

so i'll have to look back and see what had happened thru out this long long day and get all these out of my mind so dat i can work on my 2 presentation n 2 essays next week.

i woke up at 9.30 am, instead of 8. and i felt the constipation feeling + bloatedness shit, a.k.a. pms crap.

at 12.45, i realised dat i forgot to take the cert folder for my interview at 3 at changi. and by then i was walking in super uncomfortable pants n super painful heels for 3 hours alr.

1.40 - 2.05, dats how long i had waited at the bus stop, with a strange yellow bug giving me a very painful bite on my right foot. i thought it a rock so i tried to use my left foot to sweep it away but instead, i smeared the bug onto my shoe, which means my black heels now has a yellow gross stain and i couldnt bend down to clean coz i was holding some stuff and most importantly, the pair of pants was too fitting alr. i couldnt reach the freaking shoe. and may i remind you that my interview is at 3. and i was still in sch.

2.40, i juz reached bedok, a few more stops to expo, and i realised that i only had 8 dollars in my wallet. and i was supposed to cab there.

3.00, reached the building. the journey of 2 minutes costs me $5.60 coz there's a surcharge of $2 if u take cab from expo. i didnt noe abt dat.

3.40, interview ended. it was ok but the PR issue was bugging me as it has been in all my interviews so far.

3.50, coz it was pouring, i had to call a cab. and it had cost me $6.60 coz booking surcharge of $2.50 and NETS surcharge of $0.30. yes. i was out of cash.

4.30. called ica and was told by an unfriendly lady dat i was not eligible for the automatic conversion. which is different from what i had heard frm the career centre.

5.10. felt like a ball, kicked from one department to another ministry to another office to another centre.

5.50. i broke down feeling helpless n lost over nothing.

7.00. i thought my group is scheduled to present in the 1st week of april which is 2 weeks frm now but when i checked the latest schedule, it wasnt the case. my group was pushed forward for a week which means we're gg to present on next wed. hmmmm. and the group 1 that's supposed to present next week was postponed to our supposedly slot.

im stunned coz we havent prepared a single thing. and it's 50%?!

8.00. it's like a downward spiral, sucking the happy energy out of me.

and i have spread my sadness and stress to other ppl by making a big ass out of myself.

most importantly, i dun understand why am i here, pitying myself, instead of doing stg to set things right.

my sis told me, if too busy, dun come back la, i'll bring stuff to u.

i said no, i Need to go back. it's no longer a want.

p/s. i really wish to have my tear ducts removed.

just follow law.

2010-03-25T17:43:00.001+08:00

ica: u need to talk to ur sch.

career centre: u need to talk to moe.

moe: u need to talk to ur sch.

osa: u need to call student service centre.

student service centre: we're Closed.

i feel like a ball.

i need to keep telling myself.

2010-03-23T01:40:00.001+08:00

it's only 10%.

5 more weeks!

2010-03-21T23:39:00.007+08:00

who says i must feel emo just becoz im leaving sch?

=D pls. anything but emo!

esp when i have hi5 and muscle bear and family with me!!!!

and woohoo! next week gg home!!!! ~~ so happy dat i can forget abt work for 1 nite!

hehehehhehehehehe! feeling damn hyperrrr!!

and im craving for KIAM CAI soup steamboat with CHILI meatball and sliced fish and tomatos!
*awwwwh.i wanna eat dat*

and cheese cakes!

hehe i have a long long long craving list!

how i wish all the food on the list have no calories!!!!!!!!

haha the song playing currently: fuck you - lily allen.
reminds me of the most recent interview.
haha. i left the company feeling quite down, then when i stepped out of the building, it started to rain heavily. and i didnt bring umbrella.
emo-ness intensified! lol then on my mp3, then lily allen started singing!

i was like. wow. this time really really gone alr. all the signs are ominous!

but 5 mins later,

rain stopped, and muscle bear called, and bus came =))) so it was not dat bad after all!

i noe i'll miss seeing all the Squirrels running ard the hall when i move out. they nvr failed to cheer me up!

OH! we have a new iron now! hehe actually ironing's quite fun when u're really bored! =P but how come i nvr thought of it that way back home? LOL.
ok not when u have a mountain of clothes to be ironed ok!

we spent our saturday n sunday in the super cold study room.
i feel like i noe everyone who camped there alr!

OH! my neighbors are talking loudly outside now. that reminds me of another evil thing that i had done this morning.

i woke up real late and was in a rush, then one of my neighbors was waiting for the lift as well. then she suddenly ran back her room to take stuff and the lift arrived at my level, without 2nd thought i pressed the 'close' button and was quite happy coz she'll miss the lift!

then who noes the lift stopped at 5th level, 2nd level, then suddenly, IT WAS GG UP AGAIN!

i was frantically pressing all the buttons but b4 i know it, it was at level 7 and my neighbor entered.

*awkwardness* then she was like: eh how come u're still here.

hmmmm. she must noe how to program the lift to send me up again.

hurhur.

WEDDING PLANNER

2010-03-21T18:03:00.002+08:00

talking to weiying earlier on rekindled the passion for me to be the next jennifer lopez.

=)))))) hehe she's vr nice coz she said she'll let me plan her wedding!!!
=)))))))))

seeing pretty wedding cakes and smiling faces makes me super happy! =DDDDD

i wish u all the happiness u can get too gal! =))))))))

indicators.

2010-03-20T23:13:00.002+08:00

cannot access lib website, nus webmail. dun need to study alr. seriously. feel like killing WEB ppl now.

i believe in exceptions.

2010-03-20T09:24:00.004+08:00

it's not a level playing field. never was.

what i did was to make it even worse for myself.

i can only look forward now =)))

i can be the exception too, not the rule.

had dinner with beng ytd =))
i realised that those things are so obvious to me, but how did i not notice them?
mistakes should not be paid by more mistakes.
but she made me feel better! love having dinner dates with this dearie of mine!

and being able to see him at the end of the day, makes everything better. <3

the healing song

2010-03-18T13:01:00.003+08:00

let the mind run wild.

First Time doesnt always help the Second Time.

2010-03-18T12:36:00.002+08:00

wrong expectation from the past and the only experience that i've got.

so i was caught off guard this time.

this taught me a lesson.

always treat everytime as my first time.

=(((((

i need to learn how to deal with disappointments.

2010-03-16T10:40:00.002+08:00

am i working not hard enough?

=( feel like a little bird now. i have nemo wings.

=DDDDDDDDD

2010-03-15T12:18:00.005+08:00

FAV MV of the DAY! =DDDDDDD cigarettes shades, canned hair, the sandwich dance...! she's insanely mad!
haha! juz cannot stop laughing. awwwh man! GAGA!

always 15 at heart. =DDDDD

2010-03-15T12:14:00.000+08:00

all the right moves

2010-03-15T09:43:00.000+08:00

are there happy moves instead?

Fuck you very, very much

2010-03-14T13:09:00.001+08:00

Look inside,
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired,
so sick and tired of all the
hatred you harbor

So you say
It's not okay to be gay
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who
can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you (Fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Do you get,
Do you get a little kick out of
being slow minded?
You want to be like your father
It's approval your after
Well that's not how you find it

Do you,
Do you really enjoy living a
life that's so hateful?
Cause there's a hole where
your soul should be
Your losing control of it and
it's really distasteful

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you,
Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you,
Fuck yooooou

You say
You think we need to go to war
well you're already in one
Cause it's people like you
who need to get slew
No one wants your opinion

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, Fuck you
Fuck you, Fuck you
Fuck you, Fuck you

2010-03-14T12:57:00.002+08:00

it's ok if u dun understand me.

coz u're not called freshies for nothing.

i was a freshie as well.

life's too short to get angry or sad or irritated or frustrated.

refuse to trade my happiness for all those =))))).

family

2010-03-14T11:53:00.002+08:00

'it felt like an family outing.'

"Family outing! It was what!"

thank you. both of u. thanks for giving me a superb nite! =)

A.T.

2010-03-12T20:09:00.002+08:00

weird.

what a weird day.

and im damn angry coz the hall office ppl threw my SPORT SHOES n SLIPPERS away! i put them nicely in the demarcated SQUARE ok!

and i found them in a RUBBISH BAG in the pantry.

=( what the hell.

but i was happy to have found them again! and i love my sportshoes! love running with it! love the 1 hour alone time without money without handphone without music.

love the sound of the wind.

came out with some conclusions,

i'll channel my frustrations to the wind and sweat instead of making others frustrated as well.

if only there was sun.

this is how greedy i am. there were dark clouds and it didnt rain. and i wasnt thankful for that.

i hate myself for being a human being.

speaking of which, the Being Human show, was sad.

coz i watched dat after watching jackneo's press conference.

i really hope that guys are not like dat.

i will still wanna think true love exists.

6 more weeks to graduation.

i saw the set up for open house.

same layout as 3 years ago. haha!

ok shower time!!!!!!!!!!!!

class95 and me

2010-03-12T01:55:00.003+08:00

love it especially after 9pm.

EMO is my fav pastime.

2010-03-09T22:18:00.001+08:00

awwwh booooi!

2010-03-09T15:02:00.002+08:00

angst! u'll have to leave my life right now!

=))))))

there are so many things/scenes/people/feelings that i wanna forget!

dory syndrome is so cool la.

feel like runninggggg. why do i have class at 6pm 2day!!!

this sem is so draggy. awwwh boooooi.

wahaha.

heartache!!

2010-03-06T23:27:00.001+08:00

erm. not a reply that i was waiting for.

it's weird how your first time can affect you.

i will rmb it.

3304 - econometrics ll

2010-03-05T11:06:00.000+08:00

pls let me understand u.

2010-03-04T18:51:00.001+08:00

just gotta keep telling urself, it's the last few weeks alr.

everyday is a new episode.

2010-03-03T12:58:00.005+08:00

i feel like a baby. like a piece of blank paper.
in the past, i refused to accept the fact that this world is ugly. i refused to let the world to colour my paper.

but i was terribly wrong. i shud choose the colours that i want to make my life more colourful!
and it's perfectly fine to have grey and black spots coz this is how u protect urself i guess.

i finally understood why he said, it's ok. it's a learning experience that will make u stronger when i made a blunder few days back.

just dont give up.

oooo~~ Adam Lambert!

Just dont give up
Im working it out
Please dont give in
I wont let you down
It messed me up
Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around!!

dun u think he's quite cute? love his voice!!!! =)

2010-03-03T06:06:00.002+08:00

what a nice oldie to keep me company when i jumped out of bed at 4.30am.

=)))))

awwwh i miss mum's breakfast. T.T

did i mention dat i cried ytd?

2010-03-03T00:44:00.002+08:00

but i have a new experience now. blurring effect doesnt help in studying the models.

i think i shud juz give the mid term up.

my hormones are all messed up.

im 22 gg on 23

2010-03-02T11:04:00.003+08:00

(Rolf)
You wait little girl
On an empty stage
For fate to turn the light on

Your life little girl
is an empty page
that men will want to write on

(Leisl)
To write on

(Rolf)
You are 16 going on 17
Baby its time to think
Better beware
Be canny and careful
Baby you're on the brink

You are 16 going on 17
Fellows will fall in line
Eager young lads
And grueways and cads
Will offer you fruit and wine

Totally unprepared are you
To face a world of men
Timid and shy and scared are you
Of things beyond your ken

You need someone
Older and wiser
Telling you what to do
I am 17 going on 18
I'll take care of you

(Leisl)
I am 16 going on 17
I know that i'm naive
Fellows I meet may tell me I'm sweet
And willingly I believe

I am 16 going on 17 innocent as a rose
Bachelor dandies
Drinkers of brandies
What do I know of those

Totally unprepared am I
To face a world of men
Timid and shy and scared am I
Of things beyond my ken

I need someone
Older and wiser
Telling me what to do
You are 17 going on 18
I'll depend on you

sucks im way too old to sing dat song alr la!!!!

and i still do not buy the fact that my dad has accepted the fact that im an adult.

for the 20+ years, dat not how we do things.

hmmmm. i actually cried when dat happened. awwwh man. what a cry baby.

<----- working on his chinese political thoughts essay beside me!

hehe. the frowning n intense face is so cute =P

IO 2mr!!! test test test!!!

i hate the words information, technology, industrial, competitiveness.

2010-02-28T20:49:00.004+08:00

others always tell me, bite ur shoes and they wont bite u.
it's a myth.

i bit them real hard! but they bit me harder. 2 wounds. when i shower, it's like pouring acid over the wounds.

but i still can walk for the whole day thanks to the plasters dat duan gave me and the box of plasters dat i bought later!
for the 1st time, i stood in front of the escalator and swallowed 1 sandwich!
coz i was supposed to meet the interviewer at ard 5.30 and by 5.02, i was still in clementi!!!

frm 4.30 to 5.30, it was disastrous. stupid business attire.

by 7.20, i was back in clementi again to meet m for dinner! and grocery shopping! that was definitely the happiest moment of the long long day =]

oh i think we watched valentine's day on wed nite?
hmmmm. i prefer He's Not That Into You though.

taylor swift is So... different. lol. the other taylor was a bit like non-existent. haha. but overall quite a nice show to see all the cute guys n pretty gals!

watched titanic again ytd. awwwh man. so sad. haiyo. the thought of it makes me wanna cry alr.

dats sadder than avatar! =(

it's sooooo hot. hope the weather can burn away some fats! then i'll be happy!=D

why isit friday alr!

2010-02-26T10:50:00.002+08:00

i have absolutely zero mood to do anything now.

the cheese bun that i kept in the fridge for so long tastes weird.

with so many things on my mind and even more things to be completed,

i hate my oven room.

argh.

what a way to start 2day.

baby step.

2010-02-24T16:16:00.001+08:00

hot milk tea + butter/kaya thick toast therapy!
=)

it's Valentine's Day 2nite =]

a lunch to rmb

2010-02-23T15:13:00.002+08:00

im so excited that all the deadlines n midterms next week have faded into the background!

awwwh boy awwwh boy =)

*keeping my fingers crossed*

im excited for tyy as well! she's so gg to get 5As man! =)

p/s: photoshop is the biggest liar in this world.

not bad at all

2010-02-19T16:14:00.006+08:00

i wont say that i have had the best cny week ever.

coz the best was in the past. the best part is the memories that all of us shared, of the old house, dark river, long NO-HEATER shower queue, fold-able metal mesh mattress, lotsa home cooked dishes, handphone corner, mahjong under the tree, and the Complete family and so many more.

but i enjoyed the last few days nonetheless! =) the gambling sessions, sing k sessions, nice meals, visitings and of coz the 1 short day with a very cute cousin!

Hehe. 1st time in a Long while for me to bathe a Baby! oh man. i was drenched after dat but was so happy when she is clean and happy and PANG PANG after the shower! =))) i love hugging her!!!

the Cny at Kukup was more like a tradition now=) with non-stop fireworks for hoursssss, the-never-will-feel-hungry feeling coz we'll have like 5 meals a day!

i slept very early for the past few days. like latest by 12 i'll be sleeping like a pig alr. =P

but i really hate the network. with valentine's day n 1st day of cny coincide, my phone is literally useless for 1 day plus =(

luckily i still get to wish him happy vday 4 mins b4 the day is over.

i spent the 3rd n 4th day of cny at jb. visiting uncles' house, play AssHole daidi, play the very Tiring heart attack with my cousins, eat eat eat drink drink sleep sleep sleep! ohya!

ytd was a very special day! coz miko lee visited my family for the 1st time! lol.

and the shoppings after dat was crazy!

=))))) rooney with all the goodies! and the his redpacket frm mum n my pinkpacket frm his mum! =)

i LOVE this photo! with the moon n a stretching werewolf as the background for the super-sized slippers!

xoxo~

change change change!

2010-02-11T21:34:00.003+08:00

im gg to change the blog layout soon. this is too dark for my liking. =)))))

got really upset for the whole afternoon for nothing. im asking too much from myself.
i really gotta chill and stop being so demanding!

thanks for the friend who told me how bad the pay is for an event manager or how tedious and sucky the job is.
i felt so much more confident that that is what i want.

=) you can have ur cup of tea the way u want it.

arctic

2010-02-10T00:54:00.001+08:00

i think i will miss all the time that i had alone and of coz the time with JJPBXX!

jjpbXX = avatar candy + an animal. ok so dat i wont forget in the future.

my alone time now = job search.

dunno how to describe. i dun hate it. but i dun like it either.

can i be a hunter like in avatar? and i wanna ride a toruk and be a toruk macto!

i have a feeling dat i'll watch avatar for the 3rd time. soon.

im a lucky gal and gujunpyo is so cute!!!

2010-02-05T22:38:00.000+08:00

no tears allowed.

2010-02-05T22:16:00.005+08:00

no matter how ugly the truth is, i noe i can handle it.
i can handle it beautifully. i noe.

dun judge me when i do not judge u.
dun. not by the cover.

i tell myself. no matter how affected i am, im perfectly fine.
because i have so many people who care abt me.
i dun want to make them sad.

so no matter how sad how disappointed how down how badly i feel like crying, i wont.
=)

if u're hungry, go get food.
if u're cold, wear extra clothes,
if u're sick, eat med n sleep.
if u're unemployed, find a job.
if u're broke, stop spending.
if u're sad, think of happy thoughts.

it's not dat hard u noe.

and right now, i really feel emotionless.

flightless.

saddened by all the bad ppl and sad things that happened ard me and my beloved friends n family members.

but are cheered up immediately,
whenever i think of them. =)

just like a simple dinner with beng beng (not bAng bAng) dear totally made my day!
=P
Pretty OL. =P

and i cant believe dat both of us forgot what movie we had watched on our last date?!!!!

home home home 2mr~~ =) i need to go back to the repair centre. =)

suddenly im too free.

2010-02-03T21:43:00.002+08:00

=]
ok done with therapeutic activities=)

can study alr =P

=(

2010-02-02T23:06:00.002+08:00

=((((((

=((((((((((

i have used up half a box of tissue ytd nite. 5 packets of tissue through out the day.

n i finished mike's whole box of strepsil.

and i have missed the morning class again. =((((((

i just want to sleeeep. =(

Theme from Dying Young

2010-02-01T21:56:00.001+08:00

makes me wanna watch the movie

i need to find it back.

2010-02-01T21:20:00.001+08:00

happy aquarium shall be replaced by AOL love songs + readings =)

last 10 weeks of studyinggggggg!!!!!!!

Cant WaitSSSS!

2010-01-31T19:55:00.004+08:00

i cant wait to go back to see all the new clothes that my mum n the 2 sisters have harvested!!!!

mum sounded so excited over the phone ytd nite!

i cant wait for friday to come and i can date my beng beng! =D miss her so much! havent seen her since she became an OL! WAHAHA.

i cant wait for next next week to come so dat we can have a nice vday+monthsary date!

awwwh man=)

Life is Love =]

i ♥ dell but i ♥ my laptop more and i ♥ KFF

2010-01-29T00:02:00.005+08:00

2 nights ago, the poor laptop was down after i had dinner at botak jones with the New urban ppl.

and when i called the helpline, my phone just kept restarting by itself, cutting the freaking calls or just go into camera mode and start taking pictures by itself.

depressed and extremely sad, i pressed 1.

hehe! then help arrived!

=) then happy alr. coz i could then serve my pancakes! =P and CHARGER reunite! =D

went to ITcare the next morning, where the guy pronounced my baby laptop dead. =(

i will nvr forget what he said.

" basically this laptop, the motherboard is spoilt. you might as well go n buy a new laptop. it's more expensive to repair it."

felt really really really sad.

we even went to see the new laptops at coop!

then my dad reminded me dat we extended the warranty to 3 years.

so i called dell again and this time, it went through! =)

and the next afternoon, they sent someone to change my motherboard and fan for me and by 2pm, we were playing L4D2 again!

im so surprised that i didnt lose any data or setting at all.

like this baby is still the same.

except the fan is stronger now.

~~ felt paralyzed without laptop these few days though mike's really considerate and kept me company most of the time.

HEHE.

looks like distractions are essential parts of life as well!

felt good to have talked to the ens ppl ytd for hours! =) ens room is still the same! but im so glad that it stays dat way! =)

oh! now dat im feeling hungry, im reminded of the pancakes dat we had made that looked and tasted more like mee jiam kuey!

and the macD scrambled egg! finally we know what is their secret ingredient WAHHAHA.

p/s.hehe. i cant wait to see my sis's Purple and Pink braces!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i Must rmb to bring tommy outttt. =((((((( i need to Walk Tommy.

p/s2. lazy and passive person no more.

p/s3. i hate the weighing scale in the gym. =(

in the land of FATs, i need grenade launcher.

the night i wanna forget

2010-01-25T13:18:00.005+08:00

We were staying in this big mansion.

Then he told me, i was too suffocating. so he left.

he said im too difficult. and immediately i can feel the hot tears on my cheeks.

so i was left alone in the big house.

too sad to do anything. i juz cried for 2 days.

too hungry after dat, decided to get out of the house to get food.

but i was lost. only then i realize i was staying on a hill.

took the bus 45. only to alight at the next stop coz it was a wrong bus.

then i walked into a village.

managed to get some food-like food.

when i was walking back to the big lonely house,

a horde of stray dogs chased after me. had to throw away some remote control look-alike thing in my hand to lure them away from me.

when i reached home, i saw a boomer and a spitter in the house, saying dat they're here to visit me.

then the boomer looked like he had juz finished shitting coz he was zipping his pants.

and he has the same dark eye shadow that i had bought for my avatar in Cafe World.

i felt even sadder coz my guy dumped me and only the boomer and the spitter are free to visit me.

then i was forced to walk on some wooden planks to go to sch.

met him on the way, he said, i'll call u next week.

then walk away. i fell into a hole. then had to find my way out.

then the bf called and woke me up for brunch.

this is one of the many weird dreams that i had, if i played L4D2 b4 i go to bed.

the chapter above, is the swamp fever.

4D - 1

2010-01-25T00:24:00.002+08:00

my new principles of life:

the 3D - Discipline, Distractions and Diligence.

actually there's a 4th D.

L4D2!!!!!

=DDDD

friday friday!!!

2010-01-23T02:13:00.003+08:00

otaku duo no more for a day!

HEHE. =) love shopping with mr otaku!!
wish i could offer more than that.

love hours of talking and walking,
and of coz the late night zombies killing sessions!
but i really dun understand y did the police wanna take our photos.

hmmm. u mean we dun look adult?!

=) pancakes pancakessss! can hardly wait!!!!! =)))))

midnite grocery shopping rocks!

2day is one of the days that i wanna remember for a long long time to come.
=]

it's a quarter after one and im a little drunk and i need you now

2010-01-22T17:03:00.000+08:00

false alarm

2010-01-20T13:12:00.001+08:00

it's a false alarm i suppose.

but it has taught me an invaluable lesson.

health is a very very very very very impt asset that one can have.

i dun want to lose the time that i can have.

not with my life now.

so, nothing matters anymore.

really.

awwwh man.

2010-01-14T15:31:00.006+08:00

you know that you have to cut down the L4D2 time,

when nightmares are what you get whenever you close your eyes and be drifted away, be it at 1am, 10am, or 1.30pm.

or you can cut down on the amt of time you spent sleeping.

i'll do neither. refuse to.

peter pan

2010-01-13T14:45:00.002+08:00

reality has finally set in, incorporated, evolved.

urban econs proves to be less mathematical than industrial org~!

dun like LT12 coz it's so damn cramped.

cant wait for econometrics 2 class man. coz it'll mean rahul's class is next!
=)

hehe. im so psyched up for everything now.

how hard can it be?

it's like killing the zombies........

1st of the last.

2010-01-12T16:14:00.002+08:00

woke up at 9.45am for a 10am class.

=) not an easy task. fought the 100000 evil thoughts of skipping the class.

haha. but i shud have done so.
but 1 thing to be happy abt, it's a purple lecture hall! =DDDD

how i wish there's a module, Intro to Job Searching =). and by the end of the module, u'll get ur dream job.

thats how lost i am.

sigh.

and un-sigh.

old skool.

2010-01-04T14:40:00.000+08:00

=) awwwh man.

2010-01-04T01:25:00.001+08:00

it's gg to be painful 2niteeeee.

this time is toothache.

My Best Friend's Gal, which is supposed to be vr vr funny, failed 2day.

awwwwh man.

choc banana crepe

2009-12-22T01:25:00.002+08:00

second in The Dessert That I Want to Make with Booibeee List.

role model

2009-12-20T19:35:00.005+08:00

i realise,
there are more things to be kept inside than to be said out.

the feeling of inability to talk back is killing me.

maybe this is the reason why,
although im 22 years old,
im actually 12.

sometimes i'll feel like getting out of here.
sometimes im too lazy to entertain that thought.
sometimes im lazy to plan.
sometimes im too slack to execute the plans.

these few days,
i have been living with the stupid headaches.
popping painkillers like desserts.
dunno the reason behind it but for once i have experienced the magic of paracetamol.

ytd night was the worst.
the headache was so bad that i couldnt sleep.
and when i finally get to drift away, mozzies attackS.
my ears, neck, face, forehead.
Failed to kill them on a few attempts.
so my whole night was basically gone.

8am, mum tried to wake me up.
9am, tried again.
10, 11am. i had to drag myself out of the bed.
very intense headache. felt like crying.
paracetamol 1000mg.
recently, i hate dinners a lot.

feel like a prisoner.

why should i be the role model when u urself, is not even a good one.

i feel so self centered as im typing this.

maybe it's the pms thing.

but i have nvr wanted to break free as badly.

i need a break from my break.

SPEECHLESS! =D

2009-12-18T22:36:00.002+08:00

so the song is written for her dad.
=) how apt. haha love this song for dat reason.

2009-12-18T22:35:00.001+08:00

a different but equally awesome rendition!

my mind is blown off

2009-12-18T20:05:00.003+08:00

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her skies

I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you...
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

~~

it's such a slow song. as slow as my pace now.

been watching a lot of jude law.
he's just cute and charming.
but he's a sad character.
in alfie, he spent the christmas alone and crying.
in closer, he lost the women that he loved so much and was cheated by another woman.
in gattaca, he killed himself in the end in an incinerator.

awwwh man.
i need to introduce chipmunks to jude law.
=D so that he'll be as happy as me! =D

p/s: have a safe and super fun trip booibeee lee!
p/s2: 1 more week to chipmunk squeakquel!!!

a missed favourite

2009-12-18T18:32:00.000+08:00

song for the weak moments

2009-12-13T03:22:00.001+08:00

02.11.2008 - 09.12.2009

2009-12-09T22:55:00.005+08:00

"find a seat cos i've got 3 pages left! please turn on ur girl mode today and we'll both be nice=) but u know u're really cute when u're getting bullied rite ;)"

i always thought that i'll remember every word from that msg.
coz i think i have read it for at least 1000000 times. but apparently not so.

heart wrenched into a ball.

but i wanna keep what i can rmb =)

the last 7 days.

2009-12-09T22:55:00.002+08:00

my world is more upside down than ever. morning is nonexistent to me.

and the night is always too young for me to turn in.

im addicted to SAW! it's scary, disturbing, yet it's brilliant and thrilling.

=)

p/s: i love campingS! and i love HAHQ (happy aquarium - head quarter) a lot as well!

p/s 2: cant wait for the SQUEAKQUEL! =DDDDD

=) song for the evening.

2009-11-27T19:24:00.002+08:00

wish that 1 day, i can sing as loud as chris daughtry.

the banana song!

2009-11-26T18:33:00.000+08:00

2009-11-26T17:54:00.001+08:00

fuck this.

carpe diem

2009-11-26T02:24:00.004+08:00

I have just finished another 30 episodes of hk drama. yet again.

The stew of life makes me miss my mommy sooooo muchhhhh!

i will work hard now~~! for my family and for booibeee! =)

p/s: i hope my everything will be fine for my neighbor. she has been crying for hours now. im glad that she has a friend with her.

p/s2: i like to study public finance and miss you in the middle of the night.

p/s3: happy thought of the day: i wanna be a wedding planner!

dinner on a sunday night

2009-11-22T21:36:00.008+08:00

ingredients: two packet of seafood instant noodles, two egg tofu, some shanghai vege, two eggs and fishballs packed in waterbombs.

procedure:

throw everything inside a pot and wait and watch narnia.

=)

nvr thought that narnia is nice. coz i dunno wats gg on.

but with all the "see see see, do u see that one. like this like dat." and a cute narrator beside me, explaining everything to me, i actually thought the movie was not bad! =)

looking forward to the next week and of coz, the next saturday night! =)))

feeding fish has been my fav past time now =) not training fish. =P and definitely not mating them. =( i lost all my money coz of dat.
the probability of 80% of success rate is when N is near infinity. and every mating is independent of each other. SUCKS. must take this down. 205coins and 4 failed attempts to get a fish that costs 81 dollars. =(
but i love the big big fish families! the mimi, muimui, tutu, toto, and all the FOOD frm poketank, muscles tank, shell station, omelette stand and the sashimi stand! =D